How to stop caring what others think of you?
9 strong ways to stop worrying about feeling judged.
Do you think your life is dependent on other’s opinions? Find these 9 tips to get out of your worry of feeling judged and stop caring what people think of you.
In this post, I will also share strong signs to know if you are being a people pleaser and reasons why it is necessary to stop thinking about what others think of you.
It is time to get out of the fear of judgment that has been breaking you into pieces, leaving you mentally fatigued and unhappy. Eliminate fear of rejection and low self-worth. Stop people pleasing to safeguard your mental peace.
Our mind is the most powerful tool that starts any thought. Protect your mind from continuously making sacrifices by thinking and placing others before you.
Now I am not asking you to shut your emotions and feelings to stand up for your close ones’ needs and help, but to stand up for your own needs and feelings which you normally take for granted.
We as humans always want to stay in a group where others will support and respect us. Most importantly you want to be accepted and acknowledged. On the other hand, being too nice can be dangerous for your mental health in the long run.
When you tend to always pour and never think about yourself, you are letting people walk all over you. When you are a people pleaser you are giving others the charge of your life.
You are the first person to value your own life and take care of yourself. Your concern about people’s reactions and judgments might be making you too much nicer than you should be.
That might be the reason for your unhappiness, stress and anxiety in daily life as you are always striving to be seen as the one who is nice and obedient.
Learn from this post how not to let others take advantage of you by being kind while not being overly invested in other people’s opinions about your life.
First, let us dig into what it means to be a people pleaser or caring too much about others’ opinions.
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What do mean by caring too much what others think/being too nice to others?
When you take every action of your life thinking how these actions will bring out a reaction from others, or what other people will think of you, it means you care too much about the opinion of others in life.
You are prioritizing the reactions or judgments that others will have upon you. You are not thinking about your own opinion about yourself or your actions.
Your likes or dislikes are your own and not to be based on how people see and judge you. Often we become so attached to the external world that the opinions of others matter too much in our life.
Our mental clarity takes a hike and choices are dependent on others’ reactions.
For example, you may be highly educated and people around you want to see you doing great in a high profile job. But you always want to start your own business rather than work for someone else.
If you are someone too attached to people’s reaction to taking your own choice and thinking about how your friends, relatives, and family will react, you may be giving your power in someone else’s hand.
Taking someone’s advice is sensible to evaluate your decision, but always resorting to approval from people about your life can make you miserable.
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Signs to know you are a people pleaser and being nice to everyone:
1. You try to mend up everything (even if it is not your fault)
In order to avoid conflict with others you always take the first step to amend any turmoil in any situation. Even if the problem or issue is not your fault you are that person who takes the initiative to dissolve those conflicts
2. You always apologize to the other
When you are too sweet and nice to everyone you always are the one to apologize to people for no reason. Even if you are in no way at fault. It is your mindset that tells you to say sorry to others so that they think of you as an understanding person.
3. You feel uncomfortable if someone is angry
It is your need to make others feel comfortable and happy by sacrificing your own happiness and comfort. Because you feel uncomfortable thinking someone may get angry or upset about your actions or words.
4. You agree to everyone at every point
In order to be accepted by others or groups of people you will always strive to agree with them. Otherwise, you feel they will reject you or you will lose your value or support from those people in your life.
Even if you strongly disagree on many occasions, the feeling of being left out and judged by the so-called group forces you to agree with every issue and opinion of others.
5. You pretend to be someone who is similar to that other person
A vital sign that you are a people pleaser and care about others’ opinions is that you always want to pretend to be like that person in order to be accepted in the group. You start behaving, thinking and taking actions based on the nature of those people with whom you are attached and value their opinions and judgments in life
6. You feel alone and afraid of others going against you
Being a people pleaser makes you always agree with others or that group to which you want to feel accepted and valued. You never want to risk antagonizing or going against anyone in order to keep peace. The reason is you are scared to feel left out by those so called groups of people or an individual going against you.
7. You are unable to express your true feelings and emotions
Coming from the above point, you are unable to express yourself with true emotion. If a subject feels different from your opinion you have to swallow all your thoughts in yourself and see eye to eye with others’ opinions who are in the majority.
This is very much due to the cause that you are in doubt about yourself or feel unconfident about your own feelings and thoughts.
8. You lose your own say or voice.
Now with a growing fear of judgment, limiting self-belief and complexity you start to play safe and stay quiet. You slowly turn into a person who wants to please others by agreeing to everything they say. This way you lose voicing your own words and thoughts in a cohesive manner. Ultimately you lose yourself in the midst of others who are in herds.
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Why it is important to stop caring what others think of you:
1. You will start becoming a fake person
If you want to preserve your authentic self intact then stop listening to those people who pass you judgment in all matters. Avoid giving them ears in order to stop worrying about their opinion and affecting your confidence.
Caring too much about others’ judgment makes you a person who is unable to show your true self.
2. Suffer from anxiety or overwhelm
Too much attachment about what others think of you will start making you take every step in your life being afraid of making others angry at you or speaking about you in the back. This will make you suffer more from anxiety and overwhelmed.
The real picture is that everyone talks about you even if you are the most kind and generous person on earth. Because it is in the true nature of all humans to gossip about the other one with the rest.
You cannot stop holding yourself in the good books of others with your people pleasing nature.
3. Being taken advantage of
If someone finds you to be too pliable and flexible to others’ opinions and requests, many of them will start to take advantage of your kindness or sweetness. They know that you are the soft target with whom any request or work can be easily taken out.
So stop being taken advantage of by others by stop caring about them too. I am never suggesting that we should say no to anyone who asks for any help.
But you have to evaluate the importance and the timing of those nice gestures you are being asked of every time by those who know you are that person who is readily available all the time.
4. You own your own life
Take charge of your own life by valuing your opinion which should matter the most for your own self. You are being gifted this life to be respected by you.
When you give others too much space in your mind you are throwing your spirit away.
5. You could lose self confidence and self worth
When we start getting bothered by what others will say or think about us, we become too much dependent on their words mentally. Your mind is the power plant in your body that controls all your thoughts and emotions.
You start losing your confidence and self worth in every task you take up, once you give away the mind power to those people whose opinions matter more to you rather yours.
Prioritize your own thoughts and opinions on things that are close to your life. You are a gifted person who is capable of making decisions independently and with self confidence.
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6. Effect on your mental peace
Stop getting affected by others in order to safeguard your mental health and peace. Fear of being judged, and guilt over something you said that made that other person upset will only give you sleepless nights and stress.
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7. Unable to live your fullest potential
Now accept you have goals and aspirations in life. You also have intentions and made plans for how to achieve them.
If you are constantly bogged down thinking about what that person might be thinking of you then you are unable to process so much at the same time.
Ultimately you are unable to live to your full potential to utilize the maximum capacity of your mind energy in tasks that matter the most in your life.
8. Being taken for granted
If you are wondering how to stop caring what others think of you, then first stop being taken for granted by those as the person who will always be available at their beck and call.
But when you are in need of any help those are the first to give you excuses and behave super busy!
9. Force to take wrong actions
Your decision making ability takes a major hit when you are that person who makes choices based on the opinions thrown by others in life.
The reason for this you are always relying on that person to make you choose for yourself rather you applying your own skills and senses to evaluate a situation or decision.
It mostly leads to opting for the wrong actions for which your heart and mind will never say yes.
9 powerful ways to not care what others think of you. How to stop feeling judged by others
1. Put yourself first
One of the first things you can stop caring about what others think of you is to put yourself first as the most valuable person. Whenever you are about to make any decisions or make any choice think about your own self rather than relying totally on the opinions of the rest.
Try to avoid getting swayed by “the group” that is in the majority. When you act sensible you evaluate what you want to do for your own good. Prioritizing your choices, likes and dislikes makes you a strong and confident person.
2. Set up strong boundaries for others
Avoid being the most easily available person who is always there at someone’s beck and call. I am not asking you to be arrogant who is nonchalant about others’ needs and problems. But you must set up boundaries that speak to those people to know how to approach you.
Suppose after a long tiring day you have a routine take some self care time for yourself in the evening to relax and unwind. But your friend or relative always pops up and asks to have a night out.
It may be that your boss knows you are free at this time of the evening, and you are always too generous to turn down any order or request, so you are shoved in some more assignments to cover up.
Be open and confident to speak up and set up your boundaries that your evening is for you only or the family so that they know very well not to take advantage of your available nature.
This way you will save yourself from stress and overwhelm of not wanting to do something but still accepting it for the sake of keeping peace.
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3. Learn to say no when needed
If you are wondering how to stop caring what others think of you, then first learn to stop saying YES to everything you are asked, opinionated, or requested for.
Say NO if you think that circumstance is otherwise. You have your own voice who knows the difference between right and wrong.
If you are someone who likes to enjoy solitude at home, say assertively that you like to be alone rather than go out and socialize in the crowd.
Initially, it will make you uneasy to speak up but with practice, you will be able to find that little voice of yours that faded in that fear of being left out or feeling judged about.
Trying to be liked or cheered up by your group of people will not help you in the long run.
Moreover, you also must be very careful how you are spending your time in your own life and stop unnecessary waste of your energy on unproductive things.
4. Remove all toxic people for your own sake
Cutting off toxic people who fill your mind with constant negativity is the best way to preserve your own sanity and mental peace.
Stay clear of those who always have a habit of complaining, putting you down or disregarding your efforts or sacrifices.
They are energy drainers whose opinion about life is always negative so avoiding or removing them from your life will make you healthy.
It is important to keep your mental health in top condition and not be derailed by people who do not matter in your life.
5. Speak your true feelings
Show your actual feelings about the matters which mean a lot to you. Keeping silent and agreeing to others who play a controlling role in your life is similar to giving away your power to them.
You are an individual who has the right to express your thoughts and opinions and they matter equally important.
6. Stand your ground strong
If you have made a decision or said something that you know is correct and best for yourself avoid replacing them by being pressurized or influenced by the majority or that person.
Standing your ground is a strong message to those who think of you as an easy target.
7. Have self believe and self confidence
If you are wondering how to stop caring what others think of you start building your confidence and self esteem. Always believe that you are enough.
The person who really loves and cares about you will never judge you in any situation.
You can use positive affirmations to practice daily and make a positive change in your belief system. Journaling is also a great tool to become aware of your current feelings and thoughts.
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8. Stop comparing to others
When we stop the game of comparing our lives with others we remain uninfluenced by their lifestyle or opinion.
Focusing on your own life will help you to find new directions that are more positive and prospective rather than chasing someone else’s idea of a perfect life.
When you base your life choices and decisions being affected by what others are saying and doing, you tend to lose the grip on your own self.
Stop letting people have the power to measure you in respect of any units.
9. It is okay to make mistakes in life
Lastly, if you want to start to practice how to stop caring what others think of you let go of the fear of making mistakes.
We are humans and we are not perfect.
There can be things that can turn out successful or below our expectations. But scoring a low rate in any area of life does not make you below par.
Taking advice from others does not mean you will allow anyone to ridicule or make you feel low on the decisions you have made in life.
After all this life belongs to you and you have the right to find out yourself how to face the music.
Accepting yourself is equally important as accepting your mistakes.
Taking responsibility for your own actions will only help you to become aware of correcting yourself and push you to be the better version of yourself.
Conclusion on how to stop caring what others think of you
There are a few things in life that are beyond our control. It is in the human nature of most people to comment on others’ lives and matters when theirs are in a rut.
What you can focus your mind on are those things you can control.
I hope these above tips will help you to find a solution on how to stop thinking of those people who judge you and at the same time check yourself from being a people pleaser.
We as humans generally want to be part of a group to receive recognition and acceptance.
But the simple thing we tend to overlook in this crowd is that even when you are in that group your individuality is what matters the most to keep you strong and confident.
How difficult do you find it to let go of people’s opinion of you? You are most welcome to share all those steps you take to stop worrying about what others think of you. Let me know in the comments!
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